Showing posts with label idiots. Show all posts
Showing posts with label idiots. Show all posts

Monday, November 10, 2008

Pick 'em Week 12 recap

I wound up going 6-2 on last Friday's games. It should have been flawless.

But South Caldwell wet the bed at home against Alexander Central. Then Foard crapped its pants, also at home, against St. Stephens. Wow! How much does it hurt to blow your best chance at winning a share of a conference title after 25 years of wandering in the wilderness? Just ask the Tigers.

Hey, condolences to those fightin' Tiger Squirrels! I knew that it would be slugfest and that St. Stephens was capable of pulling an upset. But I counted on Foard's hunger for that championship to help the Tigers overcome any challenge that Saint threw at them. I wasn't expecting the Indians to shut down Foard's running game so effectively. Remember, even in a losing effort, Hickory rushed for 214 yards. The Tiger Squirrels only managed 86 yards on the ground.

Remember when the Tigers were 9-1 and life was good?

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Great moments in schadenfreude, Part 2

Indian fans finally "get it"

Remember the hypothetical grocery store on Trailer Park Road? Remember the scenario I laid out in which the Blue Devils did to Saint what they couldn't do against Hickory? Well the horror story has come true. St. Stephens is now faced with the daunting task of having to beat Fred T. Foard next Friday just to finish in a tie with Hickory in the CVAC.

To make things worse for the Indians they are not only facing a superior team in Foard but also a team locked in a struggle to clinch a share of the CVAC championship. The Tigers aren't about to let it all slip away by losing to St. Stephens. So, you know...good luck with that Indians!

Maiden-35 St. Stephens-30



So, remember that cute little story that the local "sports editor" told a few weeks ago about the hypothetical Hickory fan who was getting messed with by his rabid Indian co-workers about Saint's historical victory over the Red Tornadoes? You remember, right? The hypothetical Hickory fan supposedly called the "sports editor" for help. Hmmmmmm...

What I heard was that those rabid Indian fans got so carried away with it that they decided to get mohawks and dress up like Indians to demonstrate their fanatical support of St. Stephens football. They thought it was cool. Turns out they were wrong...

Monday, October 27, 2008

The (black) eye of the Tiger

Darryl Gamble's first "pick-6"

The Dawgs beat the crap out of LSU right there in "Death Valley" on Saturday. You can now refer to Tiger Stadium as the Dawg House! LSU fans thought they were being clever when they acquired Knowshon Moreno's cell # and called it repeatedly to harass him. Well, payback is a bitch! The Corn Dog Nation got what it deserved!!



I guarantee that the worthless jerk in the video below isn't dancing for joy now!



And WTF is up with the pimp gear? Is that what an LSU degree is good for?



And finally... You just knew this was coming.



You stay classy, Tigers!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Pick 'em Week 9 recap

I had to wait till now to post the recap because the Bunker Hill Bears and Maiden Blue Devils didn't have the stones to play in the rain on Friday night. So, those two juggernauts teed it up last night. Even though the Blue Devils are way down this season there are some things that never change. Maiden spanked Bunker Hill and in the process capped a perfect week of picking for yours truly. Ahhhhhhh, 8-0, how sweet it is!

I had to laugh yesterday when I got a voicemail message from my old friend, Bias the Clown. He wanted me to call him back so that he could ask my advice on how to pick the winners. Seems his colleagues have been giving him a hard time about his sorry record this year. They even have a tee-shirt printed up. Oh my! Things are getting wild over at the Clown Motel. Bias said he wanted to pay 'em back.

Well, let me tell you something my clownish friend. Sorry, pal. I simply won't get involved in all the he-said, clown-said nonsense. Bias the Clown, if you can't hang with the big dogs in the yard, you better go back to sleep under the porch. Come up with your own ammo, if you can. If your picks stink, do your homework. Or maybe just get out of bed and do something. Do your job and don't worry about what the rest of us are doing.

Aww, now! Don't hate, appreciate!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Perplexing? Hmmm...

One of the "professional experts" in town has hauled himself out of bed just long enough to ponder the future of Hickory High football as the Red Tornadoes head into the new Northwestern 4A/3A Conference next season. He's also concerned that the Red Tornadoes may finish the season below .500 for the first time since 1994. He's also concerned that some fans are pointing fingers unfairly at the coaching staff. He says he is perplexed. He thinks it's a mystery. He apparently is worried on our behalf about all the bad things that could happen to Hickory next year in the new conference with all those big, bad 4A schools like *cough* ...Alexander Central and South Caldwell and Watauga.

I suspect that he has been sleepy, confused and, well, inadequate all his life. There's nothing that we Tornado fans can do to remedy that. But perhaps I can put his fears to rest by reminding him of a few realities.

Here is Hickory's record against each of the members of the new Northwestern Conference. If past if prologue then the facts seem to indicate that Hickory will be just fine in the new league. It does make ya wonder why it's so hard for the "professional expert" to understand this. Bless his heart. Him can't help himself...

HICKORY VERSUS:

Alexander Central... Red Tornadoes lead the series, 17-5. Hickory has beaten the Cougars 11 times in the past 12 meetings. Hickory has also won the past three contests. Back in the old days when it was Taylorsville High, Hickory led that series with the Bears, 14-1.

South Caldwell... Red Tornadoes lead this series, 24-4. Hickory has won the last 10 meetings and 24 of the last 26. Hickory was 13-1 against South Caldwell's predecessor, Hudson High. For the record, South Caldwell dropped Hickory from its schedule following the 2004 season. Hmmm...

Watauga... Red Tornadoes lead the series, 12-1. Watauga won the first meeting between the two schools in 1965. Hickory won 12 straight after that, including all eight games when both schools were in the Northwestern 4A Conference during the late 1980s and early 1990s.

Hibriten... Red Tornadoes lead this series, 7-0. Nuff said.

Fred T. Foard... Red Tornadoes lead the series, 15-3. The way this rivalry works is that every once in a while the Tigers will get a win over Hickory during a season when Foard is pretty good and Hickory is down a little bit. But just as the Tiger faithful start to believe that they've "turned the corner" against Hickory the Red Tornadoes bust off 6 or 7 wins in a row. That's the cold, hard reality of it, Bias!

St. Stephens... Red Tornadoes lead the series, 20-2. Kinda like the rivalry with Fred T. Foard, except bigger and more embarrassing for the Indians. The Indians got all excited in 1993 when they got their first win against the Mighty Ones from Viewmont. They thought maybe they had turned the tide. They didn't realize that it would take them 15 years to get the second win. The Indian players from '93 will be watching their grandsons play the next time Hickory loses to St. Stephens.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Championship of the Unifour!

Apparently there was a HUGE game played over in Burke County last Friday night. I'm embarrassed to admit that I was completely unaware that the "Championship of the Unifour" was happening at East Burke when the Newton-Conover Red Devils paid a visit. Well I guess the Red Devils are the champs because they humiliated the Cavs, 35-8. You can read all about the "Championship of the Unifour" right here.

Anyway, congratulations to the Newton-Conover Red Devils for winning the mythical "Championship of the Unifour." I'm sure the trophy is lovely. Every trophy needs a trophy case to keep it in. So here's one for you.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Crest fans...you gotta love 'em!

This was posted on NCreps.com at 8:50 PM by another toilet nugget from Crest who calls himself "crestmas"...
"hickory and burns will be a good cool down after Gaffney.This is a good time to work out a few kinks. special teams,blocking,playing till the whistle blows.I'll say it again these kids are young and exciting!Just what us fans needed.If these guys stick together there is no telling what can happen.I know they will have to mature quickly and this group of kids can.These players have a common goal,and that is to work hard everyday.Thats all we can ask.
Gaffney might have walked on the field thinking cakewalk but I don't think they walked off the field thinking that.
I think Gaffney is the team that could turn it out this year"
Are you kidding me?





















Nothing like taking a little trip down to Boiling Springs...

Words of wisdom from a Crest fan...

Posted on NCPreps.com today at 10:52 AM by a Charger fan calling himself "notashelbyfan":

"I wiukd nt be to worried about Hickory I went and watched them play last year and that was the worst 10 win football team I have ever seen They won 10 games last year because they play no one! I would worry more about Burns ib week one than Hickory!

The Chargers will be ok I think!"
BRILLIANT!